


Control

by stellarmeadow



Series: Statistics are Bullshit [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Coda for 2x18, Eddie Diaz and his Fantastical Guilt Trips, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maybe one day you'll figure that out, Not everything is your fault Eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24860854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/pseuds/stellarmeadow
Summary: The explosion hits fast and hard, the blast rocking the truck Eddie is on before he has time to process what happened. It takes a moment for the smoke to clear—just enough time to remember that no, this is not Afghanistan, this is a street in LA, where shit like this should not be happening—and then Eddie can see.He’d know Buck anywhere, could pick him out at a thousand yards, and there’s no doubt in his mind who’s trapped under the truck. Moving, thank god, but still trapped under that damn truck.And some fucking kid with a bomb is standing between Eddie and Buck.Eddie has seen what it looks like when this ends badly. Stupid kids with a cause and no sense strapping explosives on and taking out a lot of innocent people in the process.If this was Afghanistan…if Eddie was armed….But it’s not. And he isn’t.No, instead he has to stand on the sidelines and watch Buck lie there, bleeding out in the street. And it’s too soon, okay? Grass hasn’t even started growing on Shannon’s grave, and Eddie cannot handle this, too.He let Shannon die. He’s not letting Buck go.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Statistics are Bullshit [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1798654
Comments: 23
Kudos: 259





	Control

**Author's Note:**

> So...I wasn't planning a sequel when I wrote Percentages, and now apparently it's a series, seeing as how they're already babbling at me about what happens after. 
> 
> This is the second in the series - some of it won't make quite as much sense if you don't read Percentages first. 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

The explosion hits fast and hard, the blast rocking the truck Eddie is on before he has time to process what happened. It takes a moment for the smoke to clear—just enough time to remember that no, this is not Afghanistan, this is a street in LA, where shit like this should not be happening—and then Eddie can see.

He’d know Buck anywhere, could pick him out at a thousand yards, and there’s no doubt in his mind who’s trapped under the truck. Moving, thank god, but still trapped under that damn truck. 

And some fucking kid with a bomb is standing between Eddie and Buck. 

Eddie has seen what it looks like when this ends badly. Stupid kids with a cause and no sense strapping explosives on and taking out a lot of innocent people in the process. 

If this was Afghanistan…if Eddie was armed….

But it’s not. And he isn’t. 

No, instead he has to stand on the sidelines and watch Buck lie there, bleeding out in the street. And it’s too soon, okay? Grass hasn’t even started growing on Shannon’s grave, and Eddie cannot handle this, too. 

He let Shannon die. He’s not letting Buck go.

It’s not like he hasn’t already owned up to the fact that, of the two of them, Buck was the more important to keep alive. 

Clearly the universe just _loved_ that fucking thought. 

No, there’ll be time enough to sort through all that later. Plenty of time while Buck recovers for Eddie to deal with that. 

Right now the only thing that matters is getting to Buck.

The explosion may have been fast, but it’s like everything has hit slow motion since the smoke cleared. Chim goes out to confront the bomber—and Eddie is absolutely not relieved by that, not at all. And then Bobby makes an appearance, and Eddie recognizes the tactic, or some version of it. 

Finally Bobby has the kid under control and he’s being hauled off, and Eddie has never run as fast in his life as he does to get to Buck’s side. 

***

It’s not until they’re in the ambulance that Eddie realizes they’re, well, in the ambulance. He was so hyper focused his job, on keeping Buck alive, that how they got into the ambulance is kind of a blur. 

But now that they are, he’s aware of Hen and Chim’s calm, quiet voices as they work, of the speed with which they zoom through the streets, and of the familiar sounds that tell him that Buck is stable.

More than anything, though, he’s aware of Buck’s hand in his, squeezing like his life depends on it. 

He meets Buck’s eyes, the look there nearly undoing the numb cocoon Eddie has buried himself in until this is over. He sees the pain there that tears can’t even begin to dispel, despite the drugs being pumped into him, and fear, so much fear that Eddie has to take a deep breath before he can swallow his own reaction back down. 

_Focus on the job._

“Eddie….”

Buck’s voice is hoarse and low, the extra fear the tears can’t display evident in how it cracks.

“Shhh,” Eddie says. “You’re gonna be fine. We’re almost to the hospital.” 

“No, listen. If they…just…don’t let them take my leg, okay?”

Fuck. He’s heard those words before, in the field in Afghanistan, and learned never to make promises, because he knew the statistics, was trained from day one that he can’t promise what he can’t control. 

“Not gonna let it happen,” he says, squeezing Buck’s hand harder. 

Fuck statistics and percentages, and fuck the universe. If it was pissed at him for stating a preference between Shannon and Buck, then it could deal with him. 

Buck isn’t allowed to be permanently damaged for Eddie’s sins.

***

Eddie’s used to leaving patients at the hospital door, but there’s no fucking way that’s happening this time. He sticks with the gurney as they wheel Buck back, and when the nurse tries to stop him, Buck says, “He’s family. He stays.” 

After that, they ignore Eddie as long as he stands back and lets them work. He’s fine with that—he’s not there to get in the way, he’s just there to make sure that he keeps his promise. 

Fortunately, no one suggests removing the leg. The doctor does, however, insist on immediate surgery. Eddie listens to the details while fielding texts from the team and from Maddie, since the hospital won’t let anyone else back there. 

A tiny voice in the back of his head says Maddie should really be the one in here. She’s Buck’s sister and a nurse, and if the hospital knew she was the only blood relative there, Eddie would probably get booted. 

But she didn’t make a promise to Buck in the ambulance. So Eddie stays there and she stays in the waiting room. 

Buck seems somewhat more coherent, if a little high, now that the good drugs have really kicked in. He asks the right questions, and gets answers that are fortunately patronization-free. 

“I feel pretty confident you’ll be able to walk again,” the doctor says at the end of his assessment. 

“But what about work?” Buck asks. “Will I be able to go back to work?” 

The hesitation is the only answer either of them need, but the doctor just says, “Honestly, I can’t say until we get done.” 

Clearly this doctor doesn’t know Buck.

***

Eddie stays in the corner as they let everyone else come in two or three at a time to see Buck before he’s wheeled into surgery. Maddie is first, smiling through tears as she holds Buck’s hand and spouts a bunch of statistics that are supposed to be helpful. She stays while Chim and Hen come in, followed by Athena and Bobby. 

At last everyone is cleared out except Eddie, who puts his hand over Buck’s and says, “I’ll bring Chris to visit when you’re done, okay?”

“Well that’ll give me something to look forward to,” Buck says with a huge smile. 

A nurse comes back in. “Time to go, Mr. Buckley.” 

Buck gives him that same smile. “See you in a few.”

Eddie smiles until Buck is out of sight, then stops spending the energy.

He’s going to need it.

***

Eddie checks his watch for at least the fifteenth time to see that it’s only been twenty minutes since they took Buck back. A cup of coffee blocks his view and he looks up to see Maddie holding it out, her smile tired. 

He takes the cup as she sits down beside him. “First rule of waiting in hospitals,” she says, “is never check your watch.” 

It’s not as if he’s new to the hospital waiting game. Still, he appreciates that it’s her brother in the operating room and yet she’s over here trying to calm Eddie down instead of vice versa. 

“Thanks for staying with him,” Maddie says softly. 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Eddie says, staring at the coffee cup. He’s not sorry, but she doesn’t need to know that. “I kind of made him a promise, so I wasn’t going anywhere.”

She lays a hand on his arm, and after a moment, he looks up at her. “I saw you on TV,” she says. “I knew you weren’t going to leave his side until you had no choice.” 

He’s not sure what they showed on the news. “Yeah, well, a ladder truck blew up and fell on him, and then some kid with a bomb tried to finish the job, all right in front of my eyes, so…yeah.” 

“I didn’t—” Maddie starts, then bites her lip for a moment before she says, “I know you two are close.” 

Eddie shrugs. “In the short time I’ve known him, your brother has done more for me than almost anyone I know.”

“That’s Evan,” she says with the biggest smile he’s seen on her face since she arrived. “He’s…I don’t know. The rest of us go through life and every bad thing that happens to us just…it sticks, and we wear it like some kind of armor. But Evan…somehow he shakes it off. And he wants to help everyone else do that, too.”

Eddie can’t help but smile at that. “No wonder he and Christopher are BFFs.” 

“Yeah, well,” Maddie says, “it doesn’t hurt that they’re about the same mental age.”

Eddie laughs. “Yeah, somewhere between eight and fifty, depending on the situation.” Both of them were kids at heart, but they also both had amazing insight about how to make people better. They paid attention. 

“I don’t know where I’d be right now if Buck hadn’t seen everything going on with Christopher when I started at the 118 and brought me Carla,” Eddie says, watching as Athena brings Bobby coffee on the other side of the room. “He has this knack for seeing right through people.” 

“Yeah, he’s good at that.” 

Something in her tone makes Eddie look at her again, makes him wonder if that ability runs in the family. The look she’s giving him is too knowing. Can she see through him? Does she know that he’d managed to piss off the universe by wanting to keep Buck more than his own wife, and ended up almost killing him instead? 

“That he is,” Eddie says, putting the coffee cup down and getting to his feet. “Be right back.” He heads for the bathrooms, but when he gets inside he just leans on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. 

Buck’s going to be fine. The surgery is going to go well, he’s going to pull through and he’ll be back at work in no time. 

Any other outcome is unthinkable. 

***  
Eddie tries not to look at the time, but he can’t help it every so often, so he knows how many hours it’s been when the doctor comes out. 

Too many.

The doctor looks tired as he says Buck made it through the surgery. “Mr. Diaz?” he says, looking around until Eddie steps forward. “Come with me, please.” 

Eddie shoots Maddie a confused glance, but he follows the doctor into an empty corridor. “I’m going to assume by your confusion that you didn’t know Mr. Buckley authorized only you to receive information and make decisions?”

“He…did?” The doctor nods as Buck’s pleas to make sure they didn’t amputate his leg run through Eddie’s mind. “He, uh…yeah, I think he wanted to make sure if there were any decisions to make I’d stick to his wishes.” 

Could he, though? Could he really make any decision that might risk losing Buck?

“Well, fortunately, there aren’t any to make right now.”

“Right now?” 

The doctor shrugs. “It’s early, and we can never know if there might be complications, but Mr. Buckley came through the surgery just fine.”

“And his leg?”

“Like I said, it’s early, but I think he’ll be able to walk fine eventually.”

 _Walk. Eventually._ “And work?”

The doctor’s lips thin, and Eddie can practically see him choosing his words. “The damage from the accident aside, Mr. Buckley is in excellent shape,” he says after a moment. “Given that…who knows? The best I can give you right now is a maybe. But you should prepare him, just in case.”

“You’re going to be the one giving him all this information when he wakes up.”

“Yes, and I’ll tell him what I told you. But in my experience, everyone believes they’re going to be able to pick up where they left off, and they’re rarely prepared for anything else, no matter what I tell them.”

“So what do you think the chance is he’ll be able to be a firefighter again?”

“Statistically speaking? Maybe thirty-five percent. The next week will give us a clearer picture, though.” 

Yeah, fuck statistics. Buck is going to do everything he can to get back to the 118. And Eddie’s going to be right there, doing everything to help. 

Well, everything short of losing him. 

“When will he wake up?” Eddie asks. 

“He needs sleep to heal, so we’re keeping him sedated until morning.”

“Can we see him?”

The doctor nods again, leading Eddie around the corner and opening the door to a room. Buck lies there, pale and hooked up to machines. Eddie knows the name and function of every one of them and seeing them all attached to Buck is like a knife in Eddie’s gut. 

“I know he’s asleep, but still please keep visitors to just 2-3 at a time. And then you should tell your friends to go home and get some rest after they’ve seen him. He’s going to need them later.”

“Okay.” 

The doctor squeezes Eddie’s arm. “It looks worse than it is,” he says. “I don’t think you’re in any danger of losing him.”

_Don’t tempt fate by saying that, _Eddie wants to say. But he just nods and gives the doctor what he hopes is some kind of smile.__

__“Thanks.”_ _

__***_ _

__After a moment of looking at Buck, just soaking in the fact that he’s alive, Eddie goes back out to the waiting room and gives everyone an abbreviated version of what the doctor said. He’s not really looking at Maddie, but when he’s done, and the others are hugging each other at the good news, she comes up and hugs him._ _

__“I’m sorry,” he says, managing to look her in the eye. “Apparently he signed something before surgery that only allowed me access to information.”_ _

__“Yeah, let me guess—he thinks I’d have them chop off his leg or something first chance I got?”_ _

__It’s meant as a joke, but there’s just enough of something else behind it that it falls a little flat. “I did kind of, um…make him a promise about that.”_ _

__“I figured.” She eyes him carefully. “Could you have kept it?”_ _

___And possibly have been responsible for Buck’s death, too?_ “Let’s just be glad it didn’t come down to that,” he says quietly. “Come on.” _ _

__He leads her around to the room and follows her inside, his arm around her shoulder as she shakes almost imperceptibly as she looks down at her little brother. “His vitals are good,” she says, as if Eddie isn’t a trained medic and can’t tell that on his own._ _

__But then maybe she’s not saying it for him._ _

__Chim comes in, Hen on his heels. They stare at Buck for a long moment, then Chim takes over from Eddie, pulling Maddie into his arms. “We should go home and get a little rest,” Chim says. “Buck’s gonna need you when he wakes up.”_ _

__“He shouldn’t be alone,” Maddie says._ _

__“I’m not going anywhere.” Eddie squeezes her arm. “Besides, if anything were to happen….”_ _

__“Right.” Maddie gives a little sniff before she leans over and whispers something into Buck’s ear. After a light kiss to his forehead, she leaves with Chimney’s arm around her._ _

__“Hang in there, Buckaroo,” Hen says, squeezing Eddie’s arm and giving him a smile before she, too, walks out._ _

__Athena and Bobby are next, looking something like relieved parents when they see him breathing with their own eyes. “Doctor said he did well?” Bobby asks after a moment._ _

__“Yeah, he said it’s early, and there can always be complications,” information he’d held onto when telling the rest of the team the surgery had gone fine, “but that things look good.”_ _

__Bobby doesn’t ask about a long-term prognosis and Eddie doesn’t offer up any of what the doctor said about it. “We’re gonna go home,” Bobby says. “You need anything first?”_ _

__Eddie shakes his head. “I’m going to stay here tonight, just in case.”_ _

__“We figured,” Athena says, pulling Eddie into a hug. “Call us if you need anything.”_ _

__“Thanks.”_ _

__They leave, and Eddie is finally alone with Buck and the sound of the equipment providing solid proof that Buck is, in fact, doing okay._ _

__Eddie pulls a chair up beside the bed, takes Buck’s hand in his, and listens to the sound._ _

__***_ _

__Something wakes Eddie in the near darkness. It takes a moment for him to realize it’s Buck’s hand, twitching in his._ _

__Eddie sits up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes with one hand, the other still holding Buck’s as he checks Buck’s face. His eyes are still closed, and a quick look at the machines says that everything is just the same as it was before Eddie had passed out with his head on Buck’s side._ _

__Buck’s hand has stopped twitching. Probably nothing—just a muscle reaction or a nerve. Unless it’s a bad sign. Maybe Eddie should call the doctor? Or not?_ _

__He’s a fucking medic for fuck’s sake, he should be able to make a decision this simple._ _

__Buck’s vitals remain strong for the next minute. No change—unlike Eddie’s, which are going like crazy._ _

__What if it’s a sign of something he wouldn’t know about? What if he let it go and then Buck…and then something bad happened? Something that could have been avoided?_ _

__Enough of this was his fault to begin with, Eddie could at least make sure nothing else was._ _

__A nurse passes by, and Eddie calls out to her just loud enough to get her attention._ _

__“Something wrong?”_ _

__“I’m not sure,” Eddie says, feeling a little foolish, but a lot more determined to do the right thing this time. “It’s probably nothing, but his hand was twitching?”_ _

__“That’s normal,” she says, not unkindly. She checks his records on the computer and looks over the machines, though Eddie gets the feeling she’s doing it more for him to see it than out of concern. “Everything looks good,” she says at last. “But don’t hesitate to hit the call button if anything changes, okay?”_ _

__“Yeah, thanks.”_ _

__She leaves, and he feels…well, more relieved than anything. He didn’t screw that part up, at least._ _

__Time would tell if he’d screwed anything else up._ _

__***_ _

__“Hey, Eddie.”_ _

__There’s a warm hand between Eddie’s shoulder blades, and he can smell coffee nearby. He lifts up slowly, realizing he fell asleep on Buck’s side again at some point. His hand is cramped where it’s been holding Buck’s all night, but he doesn’t let go._ _

__Maddie smiles down at Eddie, offering him coffee. “Thanks. I’m gonna owe you a whole coffee shop by the time this is over,” Eddie says, but he takes the cup gratefully. It’s hot and bitter, chasing some of the cobwebs out of his head. “What time is it?”_ _

__“Just after five,” Maddie takes a sip of her own coffee. “You should go home and shower, maybe take a nap and see Chris, so you can be back when Buck wakes up.”_ _

__He did promise Buck that he would bring Chris to see him, but…he also made other promises as well._ _

__“Hey.” Maddie’s voice is soft, her smile a little too understanding. “I’ll call you the second anything changes,” she says. “And they’re not going to do anything without your permission anyway.”_ _

__Which is one of the reasons he should stay. Shit._ _

__He scrubs a hand over his face. Maybe Carla can bring Chris. And maybe someone will take pity on him and let him use one of the showers in the hospital._ _

__A hesitant knock on the door has both of them turning to see Ali standing there. Eddie only recognizes her from Buck’s Instagram posts—she looks nothing like the girl they’d rescued from the earthquake now._ _

__“Hey, Ali,” Eddie says, getting up. Letting go of Buck’s hand is like letting go of a rope during a rescue, but he forces himself to do it. “Nice to see you, though, again, I wish it was under better circumstances.”_ _

__“Eddie, right?” Ali says with a small smile. “My other hero?”_ _

__“Yeah—have you met Maddie?” Eddie asks, taking the conversation further away from Buck’s bedside so as not to disturb him._ _

__“No, but I’ve heard a lot about you,” Ali says, holding out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”_ _

__Maddie shakes her hand. “You, too.”_ _

__Ali goes over to Buck’s bedside and takes Eddie’s seat, pulling Buck’s hand into both of hers._ _

__“Yeah,” Eddie says, watching the two of them. “I think I’ll go home and shower.”_ _

__He looks at Maddie, careful not to even try to decipher what he sees in her face. “Call me if anything changes.”_ _

__***_ _

__Carla is in the kitchen when Eddie lets himself in the house. “How’s our boy?” she asks, as she gets up and gets him a cup of coffee._ _

__He wonders what everyone sees in his face that makes them keep plying him with coffee, but as he needs the caffeine, he takes it without question. “Stable,” Eddie says between sips. “Surgery went well, but now it’s a wait and see.”_ _

__“They’re not sure he’ll walk again?”_ _

__“They’re pretty sure of that,” Eddie says. “Being a firefighter…that’s more up in the air.”_ _

__She shakes her head. “Well, there are plenty of other things he can do with his life if he can’t be a firefighter. The important thing is that he has a life to do them with at all.”_ _

__Eddie agrees, but he’s not sure Buck will feel the same. What they do isn’t just a job. No one says, ‘Hey, I think I’ll make my daily grind running into burning buildings for government pay.’ In some ways being a firefighter is even more of a calling than joining the military._ _

__“I wouldn’t count him out just yet,” Eddie says._ _

__Carla gives him a look. “Don’t go filling his head with false hope,” she says._ _

__“Hope isn’t false.” Eddie takes a drink. “Hope is what gets us out of bed in the morning. What’s false is assuming someone can’t do something just because not everyone can. Thousands and thousands of people apply to LAFD every year and only, what, a couple hundred get in? And of those, how many make it through the full year to become a firefighter?”_ _

__“Hey,” Carla says, holding up her hands. “I didn’t say tell him his life is over. Just…be real with him.”_ _

__Eddie nods. “You want to go see him?”_ _

__“Yeah. Are you bringing Chris before school?”_ _

__“Yeah. I’ll let them know he’ll be late.”_ _

__“Okay.” She starts out of the room, but pauses at the door. “Did the doctor give you any idea what the chances are he will be a firefighter again?”_ _

__Eddie finishes his coffee. “Yeah.”_ _

__“And?”_ _

__“The doctor doesn’t know Buck.”_ _

__***_ _

__Eddie calls Christopher’s school and tells them he’ll be a little late before he wakes Chris up. The kid’s smile never fails to make Eddie happy, but he needs it even more today than usual, just as he needs that first morning hug, when Chris is still sleep-warm and more cuddly than usual._ _

__“Listen, Chris,” Eddie says, when he’s finally let go, “Buck had an accident at work last night. He’s going to be okay,” Eddie says quickly, “but he’s in the hospital. How do you feel about going to see him before you go to school.”_ _

__“Yes, please,” Christopher twists up his mouth for a moment. “You’re sure he’s going to be okay?”_ _

__Eddie hugs him tightly. “Yeah, he’s going to be okay. He’s just gotta heal up a bit before they let him out.”_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“Good.”_ _

__“Can I make him a card?”_ _

__Eddie’s not going to cry in front of his kid. Not this morning. “Yeah, why don’t you do that while I take a quick shower and then we’ll get ready to go see him, okay?”_ _

__Eddie makes it into the shower before he lets the tears fall._ _

__***_ _

__By the time he’s out of the shower and dried off, Carla has texted that Buck is awake, and Eddie’s got himself under control. Hopefully by the time they get back to the hospital people will be in and out of the room and he’ll have some distraction from his thoughts._ _

__That one of those people is going to be Ali is something Eddie sticks into his little box in his head and locks down. He’ll deal with that some other time._ _

__Like maybe right after he finishes dealing with the fact that losing his wife has made him realize his feelings for Buck, only it may be a little too late._ _

__He sticks that in the box, too, along with all the other feelings that go with it. Eddie’s guilt is not the point. Not right now. Not today._ _

__Today is about Buck’s healing, not Eddie’s._ _

__Christopher has finished his card and is getting dressed by the time Eddie is ready to go. Eddie looks at the card and hopes that the depiction of Buck as a firefighter is inspirational and not upsetting to Buck._ _

__Then again, this is Buck. Eddie already knows that whatever statistics the doctor throws at Buck, he’s going to assume he’s in the percentage that makes it._ _

__Which he will be, if Eddie has anything to say about it._ _

__***_ _

__¬¬Ali is just heading out as Eddie and Christopher arrive. Eddie gives her a smile and a nod, hoping those tears in her eyes had only started once she left the room._ _

__Tears are the last thing Buck needs right now._ _

__Apparently what Buck needs is Christopher, judging by how he calls out, “Superman!” and holds out his arms. Eddie keeps Christopher from jumping up onto the bed, helping him up onto the chair instead._ _

__It turns out Eddie is wrong about the tears, too. Buck’s eyes well up and threaten to spill over when he reads Christopher’s card. He gives Chris a tight hug, looking up at Eddie with an expression that’s some kind of cross between thanks and adoration._ _

__So what if the adoration part is all for Christopher? Eddie can’t blame him. The kid is pretty amazing, after all._ _

__It’s clearly what Buck needs, tears and all, so Eddie just smiles back._ _

__If his smile is a little sappy, well, then, hopefully everyone in the room just assumes it’s because Buck is awake and smiling._ _

__From the way Maddie watches Eddie, though, he suspects she might have other ideas._ _

__Oh well, something else for his box for another day._ _

__***_ _

__Carla has taken Christopher to school with a promise that he can come back after school ends, and Chim has coerced Maddie off to get lunch, leaving Eddie alone with Buck._ _

__Eddie takes the chair by Buck’s bed again, sitting down like he’s just done two twenty-fours in a row. “How are you feeling?” Eddie asks. “Really?”_ _

__“High as a fucking kite.” Buck’s giggle does funny things to Eddie’s heart. Buck nods down at his damaged leg. “I’m sure that’ll hurt when they start weaning me off the drugs, so I’m going to enjoy it while I can.”_ _

__“What did the doctor say?”_ _

__Buck shrugs. “About what you’d expect. You’ll walk, but firefighting…we’ll see.”_ _

__If he told Buck the percentages he told Eddie last night, Buck isn’t showing it. “If anyone can make it happen, it’s you,” Eddie says softly._ _

__Buck gives him a huge smile which makes Eddie’s heart do somersaults. “Aw, Eddie, you say the nicest things.”_ _

__Eddie clears his throat and shifts in his chair. “Yeah, well, you’re high, so….”_ _

__“No, really,” Buck says, reaching for Eddie’s hand. “You always say exactly what I need, even if you shouldn’t.”_ _

__“Now I know just how high you are.”_ _

__“Hey, I’m trying to be serious here, do you mind?”_ _

__Eddie steels himself. “Okay, got it. Go ahead.”_ _

__“Thank you,” Buck says, making sure to look Eddie in the eye. “In the ambulance, when I asked you not to let them amputate my leg. I know you’re not supposed to make promises. So thank you.”_ _

__“It was nothing—”_ _

__“It was not nothing,” Buck interrupts, squeezing Eddie’s hand a little tighter. “I held onto that the whole time. And hey, look,” he says, waving at the leg in a cast from mid-thigh to his toes, “it worked.”_ _

___I put you in there, the least I could do was use my power of persuasion on the universe for that much._ _ _

__“Eds?”_ _

__“Sorry.” Eddie clears his throat. “Yeah, I…I’m glad that it worked, Buck.”_ _

__“So….” Buck licks at his lips, and Eddie misses the first few words he says as a result. “…another promise.”_ _

__Eddie blinks. “You want another promise?” he confirms._ _

__“Yeah.” Buck licks his lips again. “I want you to promise me that I’ll be back at the 118 as a firefighter again. And I know what you’re gonna say, that you can’t promise—”_ _

__“You’ll make it,” Eddie says quickly. “I’ll help. Whatever you need.”_ _

__Because he needs Buck to be okay, and Buck won’t be okay without being there with them._ _

__And if Eddie needs Buck, then that’s neither here nor there. In fact, given what happened from admitting he needs him, it absolutely makes no difference at all._ _

__All that matters is what Buck needs._ _

__\--  
END_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make me smile all day long! (And fuel the bunnies...) ❤️


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